Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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