Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I supernannyed him into submission
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize