when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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