Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
