when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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