i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
