i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize