Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
