I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
