she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize