hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
