Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
