On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
