So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
