I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize