Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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