I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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