she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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