I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
