Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
how does that bad decision feel?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
