I heard we made out
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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