dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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