i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize