Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
