you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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