If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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