Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize