omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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