So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
