This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize