My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
