i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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