She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
