No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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