Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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