My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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