His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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