and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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