return my video game
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
