I wish I could teleport
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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