You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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