i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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