these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
