Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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