508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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