I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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