let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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