i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
