He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
