U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
