Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
