so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
