My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
