The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
