ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
