I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Randomize
