you guys were way drunker than both of me
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
