I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
