if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
