Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
