Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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