whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
