kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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