Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
