I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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