I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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